I've read a lot of Bernard's previous work, including his short articles where he claims that Anne Boleyn probably did commit adultery with at least one of the five men accused alongside her. I didn't find the argument particularly convincing, mostly because the dates on which Anne was meant to have done the dirty deed were not compatible with when she was actually at the royal palaces mentioned, and I have always believed that the poor woman, her brother, and the others, were simply destroyed on a whim by a King who'd become infatuated with yet another mistress. I'd even written an essay on Anne and Henry's relationship whilst studying for my masters, and vowed to defend her to the very last, bitter word. She has always been, ironically along with Katherine of Aragon, one of my heroes.
So it was with great interest that I opened Bernard's latest book Anne Boleyn: Fatal Attractions, wondering what on earth he'd come up with now to paint Anne as an adulteress. In fact, the first 124 pages of the book are not concerned with Anne's fall, but with other aspects of her life, such as her early relationship with the King, and her religious beliefs. I actually found these parts of the book very well argued, as Bernard consistently shows evidence to prove that it was Henry, not Anne, who held back from full sexual relations during their early relationship, and that it was Henry, not Anne, who drove the divorce proceedings and subsequent religious change. Of course, putting Henry in the driving seat fits neatly with Bernard's much more complicated theory in The King's Reformation, which is that Henry was not manipulated by factions but directed policy himself. So perhaps we should be wary of taking all of his conclusions about Anne's religion etc at face value.
The last part of the book deals exclusively with the theories surrounding Anne's sudden fall and her execution. By this point, funnily enough, I really wanted Bernard to come up with some watertight arguments about why he thinks Anne might have been guilty. However, after refuting the other theories behind her fall - that it was the work of Cromwell, for example - he then goes on to offer no more than the 'might have beens' that he so criticises. He even ends the book by stating that his theory is a 'hunch' and that Anne 'probably' commited adultery (with Henry Norris, for example). We must remember that the sources that survive from the time are fragmentary and, in the case of Anne's fall, it was hardly likely that she would have confessed even if she had been guilty. But there is still nothing to raise Bernard's conclusions above other historical interpretations - the interpretations he was so quick to discard. He places an unreasonable weight on gossip, especially that of the Countess of Worcester, who denounced Anne's morals and way of life. Yet, even if Henry did believe this gossip, instead of destroying Anne because he was bored with her, it does not mean that the gossip was in fact true!
I still greatly respect Bernard as a historian. I even cornered him whilst he was having his lunch during the Henry VIII conference in 2009 to bombard him with questions about the King's divorce. But I can't help feeling that his ideas about Anne's fall are still barking up the wrong tree, so to speak. Anne was no saint - it's the fact she wasn't that makes her so interesting - but in my opinion there is still no concrete evidence to prove that she was guilty of any of the crimes that she was charged with, and that her death was nothing less than murder.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Oops I forgot I had a blog. Oh yeah, and I got engaged.
I must be the worst blogger ever, as I keep forgetting I have this thing. Perhaps if my life were more exciting then I'd be more inclined to update it. At least now I have something to write about, which is that my boyfriend Michael and I got engaged yesterday :).
November 1st was the 3 year anniversary of when we met, and we'd always said we'd get engaged once we'd been together for three years, so we did. This was in no way a 'traditional' engagement, as it was something we'd talked about for a while, so Mike didn't suprise me by getting down on one knee. There was no 'popping the question' either. Mike doesn't feel comfortable with the showy, traditional romanticism expected of the man in this situation and, to be honest, neither do I. So instead we went together to one of the big jewellery shops in the centre of Bristol and purchased a very modest engagement ring. And I do mean very modest. I find the idea of being wearing a ring covered in silly diamonds which cost more than a month's mortgage, quite utterly stupid. What's important about engagement, and then marriage, is the love between the two people, not the jewellery they wear. On the other hand, it's sometimes nice to have a pretty thing occasionally, which is why I didn't forsake the ring entirely.
We do have a picture of the thing somewhere, but at the moment it's on Mike's phone and he's unable to email it to me because... well because he can't be bothered. The actual ring is currently being resized because I have ugly fat sausage fingers and the one at he shop didn't fit. So now I get to embark on the interesting journey that is wedding planning. Not that the wedding will be for at least another two years. A world of tacky tiaras, uncomfortable dresses, and needless decorations await, and I'm sure I will find it rather irritating at times, which is why I intend to blog about it because, lets face it, angry blogs are the most fun.
November 1st was the 3 year anniversary of when we met, and we'd always said we'd get engaged once we'd been together for three years, so we did. This was in no way a 'traditional' engagement, as it was something we'd talked about for a while, so Mike didn't suprise me by getting down on one knee. There was no 'popping the question' either. Mike doesn't feel comfortable with the showy, traditional romanticism expected of the man in this situation and, to be honest, neither do I. So instead we went together to one of the big jewellery shops in the centre of Bristol and purchased a very modest engagement ring. And I do mean very modest. I find the idea of being wearing a ring covered in silly diamonds which cost more than a month's mortgage, quite utterly stupid. What's important about engagement, and then marriage, is the love between the two people, not the jewellery they wear. On the other hand, it's sometimes nice to have a pretty thing occasionally, which is why I didn't forsake the ring entirely.
We do have a picture of the thing somewhere, but at the moment it's on Mike's phone and he's unable to email it to me because... well because he can't be bothered. The actual ring is currently being resized because I have ugly fat sausage fingers and the one at he shop didn't fit. So now I get to embark on the interesting journey that is wedding planning. Not that the wedding will be for at least another two years. A world of tacky tiaras, uncomfortable dresses, and needless decorations await, and I'm sure I will find it rather irritating at times, which is why I intend to blog about it because, lets face it, angry blogs are the most fun.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Allergy Watch - The Eden Project
My boyfriend and I joined my family for a holiday down in our 'usual spot' on the Lizard Peninsula in Cornwall earlier this month. The Eden Project seemed like a natural place to break the depressing journey back home, with the added benefit that we escaped the awful traffic building up on the A30 towards Bodmin.
Having previously visited the Eden Project, I was confident that they would still be providing their range of gluten-free foods. On our last visit, my mum and I had found gluten-free soup and bread, and even a gluten-free sandwich in their cafe inbetween the biomes. We weren't even put off when their little info leaflet, picked up earlier in the week, mentioned that they had opened a bakery. We thought it would perhaps be a little shop where you could see bread being made and possibly buy some.
Upon getting to the Eden Project, however, we found that the bakery had completely replaced the cafe inbetween the biomes, and was enormous. There was nothing on offer apart from bread. To make things worse, there were tomatoes everywhere, and this set off my allergy to the extent where I could barely breathe. A lot of the bread was made with nuts, which made the environment unsafe for my mum also.
I was really disappointed and asked a staff member if there was anything we could eat. We were told that we had to go to 'Jo's Cafe' in a completely different building to see if there was anything gluten-free. Jo's Cafe was this tiny place and seemed to specialise mostly in pasta, ironically. There was one gluten-free cake, and two gluten-free dishes, one of which I couldn't have because it had tomato in it. But if they rotate their menu every day, what happens if you arrive on the day when it's just pasta and sandwiches? Do you end up with a banana and an overpriced elderflower cordial?
When we entered the meditteranean biome, we also found that there was a small cafe there, which seemed to be serving regionally-themed bean type dishes. To be honest I couldn't get close enough to see because again it set off my tomato alarm. However, there was no way of knowing if these huge vats of stuff were gluten-free. My mum and I were slightly miffed that the Eden Project, which had previously been so good about gluten allergies, had taken a huge step backwards. No doubt they feel that there's more profit in the bakery angle, but don't they realise that gluten allergy is really common and that a significant minority of their guests will end up feeling excluded and going home hungry? Surely a place who's mantra is about diversity shouldn't go down the 'you can have any food as long as it's bread' road?
We saw that some visitors had bought their own food and had hidden themselves in the garden bit. Perhaps that's what I'll have to do next time. It's a shame because it's put me off going back, and my boyfriend and I were planning on taking a trip there when he passes his driving test and gets his first car soon, as your ticket entitles you to free entry for a year. I've been of two minds wether to write a letter to them about the issue, but perhaps I should and see what they say, so at least other people are informed about it before they decide to go there.
Having previously visited the Eden Project, I was confident that they would still be providing their range of gluten-free foods. On our last visit, my mum and I had found gluten-free soup and bread, and even a gluten-free sandwich in their cafe inbetween the biomes. We weren't even put off when their little info leaflet, picked up earlier in the week, mentioned that they had opened a bakery. We thought it would perhaps be a little shop where you could see bread being made and possibly buy some.
Upon getting to the Eden Project, however, we found that the bakery had completely replaced the cafe inbetween the biomes, and was enormous. There was nothing on offer apart from bread. To make things worse, there were tomatoes everywhere, and this set off my allergy to the extent where I could barely breathe. A lot of the bread was made with nuts, which made the environment unsafe for my mum also.
I was really disappointed and asked a staff member if there was anything we could eat. We were told that we had to go to 'Jo's Cafe' in a completely different building to see if there was anything gluten-free. Jo's Cafe was this tiny place and seemed to specialise mostly in pasta, ironically. There was one gluten-free cake, and two gluten-free dishes, one of which I couldn't have because it had tomato in it. But if they rotate their menu every day, what happens if you arrive on the day when it's just pasta and sandwiches? Do you end up with a banana and an overpriced elderflower cordial?
When we entered the meditteranean biome, we also found that there was a small cafe there, which seemed to be serving regionally-themed bean type dishes. To be honest I couldn't get close enough to see because again it set off my tomato alarm. However, there was no way of knowing if these huge vats of stuff were gluten-free. My mum and I were slightly miffed that the Eden Project, which had previously been so good about gluten allergies, had taken a huge step backwards. No doubt they feel that there's more profit in the bakery angle, but don't they realise that gluten allergy is really common and that a significant minority of their guests will end up feeling excluded and going home hungry? Surely a place who's mantra is about diversity shouldn't go down the 'you can have any food as long as it's bread' road?
We saw that some visitors had bought their own food and had hidden themselves in the garden bit. Perhaps that's what I'll have to do next time. It's a shame because it's put me off going back, and my boyfriend and I were planning on taking a trip there when he passes his driving test and gets his first car soon, as your ticket entitles you to free entry for a year. I've been of two minds wether to write a letter to them about the issue, but perhaps I should and see what they say, so at least other people are informed about it before they decide to go there.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Allergy Watch - Starbucks Gluten Free Sandwich
Ages ago, I'd heard that Starbucks were introducing a gluten-free sandwich, but I've never seen one until now. I even went looking on the web recently to see if they actually had made one, and discovered that the flavour was cheese and coleslaw. We stopped at a service station on the way back from London last night, and there was a Starbucks there, and I spotted this sandwich. It's really not obvious that it's gluten-free, as the words on the label are so tiny. I wouldn't usually pick the flavour as I don't really like coleslaw, but I thought I'd give it a go.
It's made with 'genius' brand gluten-free bread, and the bread is nice. It tastes like real bread, not like cardboard, and it's not stupidly crumbly. The innards of the sandwich was rather pungant, as there were two different types of cheese and the coleslaw. It was perfectly acceptable, but not really something I'd choose if there were lots of options as I still don't like coleslaw. But if I'm ever at a starbucks on route somewhere and need something to eat, then I'd probably get one again. It's not cheap though, but nothing gluten-free is (you know, because we obviously choose to be this way).
It's made with 'genius' brand gluten-free bread, and the bread is nice. It tastes like real bread, not like cardboard, and it's not stupidly crumbly. The innards of the sandwich was rather pungant, as there were two different types of cheese and the coleslaw. It was perfectly acceptable, but not really something I'd choose if there were lots of options as I still don't like coleslaw. But if I'm ever at a starbucks on route somewhere and need something to eat, then I'd probably get one again. It's not cheap though, but nothing gluten-free is (you know, because we obviously choose to be this way).
Exclusion Diet - The tough 2 weeks are over
Finally, the first two weeks of the exclusion diet are over and I can start to re-introduce foods. I really got sick of the bland stuff by the end of it. It's rather disheartening when someone else in your house gets to eat whatever they want and all you can look forward to is a bit of chicken and rice. My monthly period arrived on Saturday evening, meaning I was in absolute agony then and all day Sunday, and I could not do with the hassle of the silly diet on top of everything else. I decided to pick corn as my first thing to re-introduce as it meant I could have my gluten-free pasta for lunch, seeing as I really didn't fancy spud innards (I'm not even allowed the skin of a potato on this thing). I was naughty and had two gluten-free chocolate biscuits because the cramping from the period was making me feel sick and I thought they might settle my stomach. As I said before, I didn't care about sticking to the rules anymore once I was in so much pain that I had to take morphene.
On Monday, I was due to travel from Bristol to my mum's house in Gloucestershire, and then on to London to see WWE wrestling at the O2 arena. I couldn't go straight from Bristol to London as I was taking my 15 year old brother and he can't get on the train by himself. Of course, my period, instead of being its usual 4 days early, had come at exactly the right time in order to make my trip out as painful as possible. In the end, the pain wasn't so bad but I was hit by the most god awful hormonal nausea, which exacerbated my motion sickness. It's a bit like morning sickness but without being pregnant, and I spent the whole process of getting to my mum's house (bus, train, car) thinking I was going to vomit or faint. Needless to say, the stupid diet went completely out of the window. I grabbed a coke at the train station shop hoping it might alleviate the sick feeling, and my mum made me pasta with real, not soy, margerine on it (wow!) for lunch. Luckily, the motion sickness went away for the journey into London, as I was contemplating giving up and calling it a day (my mum would have had to go in my place, and wrestling isn't her cup of tea). But there was no chance of sticking to the diet when at the O2 arena. I had several more cokes, a chocolate milkshake, and steak and chips. I'd looked through the dining options the night before, and it was rather restrictive, given my usual allergies. At least I'm not vegetarian though, because there really isn't anywhere there to eat if you are. As it was, the waitress at the place we picked got a bit arsey when I politely asked them not to grill my steak on the same thing as the tomatoes. Then they must have gone out the back to slaughter the cow becase it took them forever to bring our food, and she got arsey again when my brother asked where it was! We got a total of 10 minutes to eat before having to get to our seats, so I shovelled the steak as fast as I could.
Today, I've continued being naughty and had real margerine again, chocolate yogarts, and a gluten free beer. I know I'm being terrible but I've had enough. As I said to my mum, the dietician will just have to understand. My priority at the moment is to lessen the physical pain I'm in because of my period, and if that means shoving chocolate in my gob, then so be it. I'll probably go back to being strict when I get home tomorrow.
On Monday, I was due to travel from Bristol to my mum's house in Gloucestershire, and then on to London to see WWE wrestling at the O2 arena. I couldn't go straight from Bristol to London as I was taking my 15 year old brother and he can't get on the train by himself. Of course, my period, instead of being its usual 4 days early, had come at exactly the right time in order to make my trip out as painful as possible. In the end, the pain wasn't so bad but I was hit by the most god awful hormonal nausea, which exacerbated my motion sickness. It's a bit like morning sickness but without being pregnant, and I spent the whole process of getting to my mum's house (bus, train, car) thinking I was going to vomit or faint. Needless to say, the stupid diet went completely out of the window. I grabbed a coke at the train station shop hoping it might alleviate the sick feeling, and my mum made me pasta with real, not soy, margerine on it (wow!) for lunch. Luckily, the motion sickness went away for the journey into London, as I was contemplating giving up and calling it a day (my mum would have had to go in my place, and wrestling isn't her cup of tea). But there was no chance of sticking to the diet when at the O2 arena. I had several more cokes, a chocolate milkshake, and steak and chips. I'd looked through the dining options the night before, and it was rather restrictive, given my usual allergies. At least I'm not vegetarian though, because there really isn't anywhere there to eat if you are. As it was, the waitress at the place we picked got a bit arsey when I politely asked them not to grill my steak on the same thing as the tomatoes. Then they must have gone out the back to slaughter the cow becase it took them forever to bring our food, and she got arsey again when my brother asked where it was! We got a total of 10 minutes to eat before having to get to our seats, so I shovelled the steak as fast as I could.
Today, I've continued being naughty and had real margerine again, chocolate yogarts, and a gluten free beer. I know I'm being terrible but I've had enough. As I said to my mum, the dietician will just have to understand. My priority at the moment is to lessen the physical pain I'm in because of my period, and if that means shoving chocolate in my gob, then so be it. I'll probably go back to being strict when I get home tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Exclusion Diet - Now on day 10
Day ten of the exclusion diet and all I can think and dream about is food. It's not even food that I could have anyway; my mind is filled with images of pasta and burgers. Every single meal on this diet is so bland and boring. Even squid, which would usually be a tasty treat, is mediocre when all you can do with it is plop it on some rice (I usually have it on gluten free pasta). The george forman grill has been having a thorough workout since I can't be bothered to measure the oil I'd usually put in a pan like the diet booklet suggests, but cleaning the damn thing every day is not much fun, to say the least. I think if I have to munch rice krispies for breakfast again, I'll scream. Oh wait, that's what I've got for breakfast tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, ad infinitum. I just want something with a bit of flavour in it, is that too much to ask? Apparently it is.
I think I'd be less irate if this diet was actually helping. Despite surviving on the handful of foods I'm allowed, I'm still having stomach problems. This is because the majority of my IBS is caused by stress, and I simply can't get rid of all the stress in my life. I had a lovely sore stomach all through the night sunday into monday because my father decided to spend half an hour telling me how useless I was when I simply rang to wish him happy birthday. This morning, I had to run to the loo 5 times to make 'lemon sherberts' because he'd phoned the house. You can see a pattern emerging, can't you. In fact, the gastroenterologist told me to cut off all contact with him because he's making me ill. The point is, I'll never be completely free of problems. My insides are just too 'special'. So I'm starting to question why I have to go through this daft diet at all. At least I only have a few more days of the crap bit left before I can start re-introducing things. I think 'that time of the month' is going to hit this weekend, so the first thing I'll bring back will be wine.
I think I'd be less irate if this diet was actually helping. Despite surviving on the handful of foods I'm allowed, I'm still having stomach problems. This is because the majority of my IBS is caused by stress, and I simply can't get rid of all the stress in my life. I had a lovely sore stomach all through the night sunday into monday because my father decided to spend half an hour telling me how useless I was when I simply rang to wish him happy birthday. This morning, I had to run to the loo 5 times to make 'lemon sherberts' because he'd phoned the house. You can see a pattern emerging, can't you. In fact, the gastroenterologist told me to cut off all contact with him because he's making me ill. The point is, I'll never be completely free of problems. My insides are just too 'special'. So I'm starting to question why I have to go through this daft diet at all. At least I only have a few more days of the crap bit left before I can start re-introducing things. I think 'that time of the month' is going to hit this weekend, so the first thing I'll bring back will be wine.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Exclusion Diet - The first three days
Despite being gluten and wheat free (due to an intolerance) for four years, my digestive system still refuses to play ball. I can't have anything spicy, I can't have anything rich. Sometimes I just look at food and I can feel my insides cramping. Whatever's going on in there is certainly compounded by stress, and my stomach defines stress as 'going outside the house'. It's completely stupid.
Trying to get doctors to believe that I'm not making this all up is rather difficult, to say the least. When I mention my gluten intolerance and my tomato allergy, I get what I call the 'yeah right' face. In fact, watching them go from that face to a 'actually you have a point' is hysterical. In the end, I've been given the notorious dead-end diagnosis of IBS, which is essentially medical speak for 'we don't know what's wrong, please go away'. The attitude of doctors in this country is that, unless you're dead or in hospital with tubes coming out the wazoo, there's nothing wrong with you. At all. Ever.
So, finally, after four years, I've been allowed to see a dietician, and that's only with the help of private medical insurance. Her first question was 'do you take your gluten free diet seriously?' Oh no, not at all, I actually like making Jackson Pollock style paintings up the back of the toilet whilst it feels like my internal organs are leaking out. Facepalm. After going through the usual routine to convince her that I wasn't a time waster or someone on a fad diet, she recommended I go on an 'exclusion diet', where I cut out everything except the blandest, plainest, most boring food, in an effort to see what is causing my insides to behave so badly.
For the first two weeks, I'm only allowed fresh meat and fish (no pork), certain vegetables and fruits, rice, soya milk, ribena, and pineapple juice. That's it. No wheat (well duh), dairy produce, cups of tea, wine, chocolate, not even my ordinary gluten free bread (it's got corn in it). I can't even have a humble orange. I started the thing on Monday and the first three days have been tough. On Tuesday, I felt so feint and weak that I just lay down and cried for most of the afternoon. Things weren't helped by having another upset tummy, which is funny because the diet is meant to stop those. I had a bit more energy on Wednesday simply by following my mum's advice of putting sugar on my gluten-free rice krispies in the morning. My body obviously needs a certain amount of it to function by the looks of things. I'm already sick to the back teeth of rice cakes, as they're the only thing I'm allowed to snack on during the day. I'm constantly hungry. Michael isn't helping by eating delicious gooey burgers and ice-cream milkshakes right in front of me. I know I couldn't have the burger anyway, but at least I could think about having a nice gluten-free alternative. Now, I get to have another cardboard rice cake. What fun!
I'm in two minds as to wether I should re-introduce wheat into my food as the exclusion diet suggests. My original diagnosis as gluten intolerant was, to put it bluntly, more my own work than that of the doctor. Part of me wants to go through with eating bread and be ok, the last four years just be a mistake, and life to return to normal. I don't think there's one person with an allergy who doesn't dream of that. The other part of me is scared witless by the prospect of eating bread again. What if it isn't ok, and I end up in the bathroom for an entire day? Is it worth the risk to find out? I'm getting on alright with being gluten free, it's the tomato allergy that's the real bummer. I'm also worried that the two weeks of plain food won't actually help my insides, and I'll be told to carry on for another month. Or maybe it'll turn out that I can't have proper milk anymore. That'll be fun, being gluten and dairy free, that won't make me suicidal at all! I guess all I can do is wait and see what happens, as usual.
Trying to get doctors to believe that I'm not making this all up is rather difficult, to say the least. When I mention my gluten intolerance and my tomato allergy, I get what I call the 'yeah right' face. In fact, watching them go from that face to a 'actually you have a point' is hysterical. In the end, I've been given the notorious dead-end diagnosis of IBS, which is essentially medical speak for 'we don't know what's wrong, please go away'. The attitude of doctors in this country is that, unless you're dead or in hospital with tubes coming out the wazoo, there's nothing wrong with you. At all. Ever.
So, finally, after four years, I've been allowed to see a dietician, and that's only with the help of private medical insurance. Her first question was 'do you take your gluten free diet seriously?' Oh no, not at all, I actually like making Jackson Pollock style paintings up the back of the toilet whilst it feels like my internal organs are leaking out. Facepalm. After going through the usual routine to convince her that I wasn't a time waster or someone on a fad diet, she recommended I go on an 'exclusion diet', where I cut out everything except the blandest, plainest, most boring food, in an effort to see what is causing my insides to behave so badly.
For the first two weeks, I'm only allowed fresh meat and fish (no pork), certain vegetables and fruits, rice, soya milk, ribena, and pineapple juice. That's it. No wheat (well duh), dairy produce, cups of tea, wine, chocolate, not even my ordinary gluten free bread (it's got corn in it). I can't even have a humble orange. I started the thing on Monday and the first three days have been tough. On Tuesday, I felt so feint and weak that I just lay down and cried for most of the afternoon. Things weren't helped by having another upset tummy, which is funny because the diet is meant to stop those. I had a bit more energy on Wednesday simply by following my mum's advice of putting sugar on my gluten-free rice krispies in the morning. My body obviously needs a certain amount of it to function by the looks of things. I'm already sick to the back teeth of rice cakes, as they're the only thing I'm allowed to snack on during the day. I'm constantly hungry. Michael isn't helping by eating delicious gooey burgers and ice-cream milkshakes right in front of me. I know I couldn't have the burger anyway, but at least I could think about having a nice gluten-free alternative. Now, I get to have another cardboard rice cake. What fun!
I'm in two minds as to wether I should re-introduce wheat into my food as the exclusion diet suggests. My original diagnosis as gluten intolerant was, to put it bluntly, more my own work than that of the doctor. Part of me wants to go through with eating bread and be ok, the last four years just be a mistake, and life to return to normal. I don't think there's one person with an allergy who doesn't dream of that. The other part of me is scared witless by the prospect of eating bread again. What if it isn't ok, and I end up in the bathroom for an entire day? Is it worth the risk to find out? I'm getting on alright with being gluten free, it's the tomato allergy that's the real bummer. I'm also worried that the two weeks of plain food won't actually help my insides, and I'll be told to carry on for another month. Or maybe it'll turn out that I can't have proper milk anymore. That'll be fun, being gluten and dairy free, that won't make me suicidal at all! I guess all I can do is wait and see what happens, as usual.
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